pamela.ullmannIt seems impossible to get away from all the chaos in the world. I have to wonder, why is our country so divided and angry at each other? What has happened here? Not more than a day or two goes by, and another form of hate arises in our world. What can we do?
Aren’t you mad?
Anger is a very interesting emotion. You can’t hold it in, but you can’t let it out too much. For if you do, there can be consequences. Faced with a personal or global crisis, can we channel our emotions and anger in a productive manner? Yes, it’s possible with some insight and effort.
What does your anger feel like? Is it mild, moderate, or just out of control? Depending on the circumstances, all of the above!
According to the American Psychological Association:
Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.
Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems.
But excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other physical changes associated with anger make it difficult to think straight and harm your physical and mental health.
We have been told that anger is a form of sadness. I can’t help questioning this theory when I see rage out of control. People who have absolutely no control over their emotions need some form of help. I work in a psychiatric hospital, so I have witnessed this. Of course, these are patients with severe mental health illnesses.
However, there are civilized ways to express anger for a typical person who does not have a severe mental health illness.
Mindfulness can reduce your anger.
I have written on mindfulness before. I genuinely believe it is a way of being that has helped me keep myself whole. Sure, I have my moments where I am off. That’s human. I don’t always practice what I preach every single day. Life can get in the way! Distractions are endless. I love to meditate, but sometimes it is too chaotic to fit it in. So, what do I do? I take small mindful moments throughout the day.
When we become mindful, we focus on the here and now. It is a point in time when we can stop and gain control over our emotions. The past is done; the future is not here yet.
Blowing up will only exacerbate the situation if you’re feeling frustrated, mad, or pissed off. On the other hand, denying your anger the right to express itself will bury it and possibly fuel the fire. It will eventually come out.
Try these exercises or adapt your own to become mindful and lessen the anger.
1. Counting down
Count down from 10. If you’re outraged, start at a higher number, like 100. As you count, your heart rate will slow, and your anger will likely subside. See the numbers in your mind silently or softly say them as you breathe deeply. Focus on the counting.
2. Breathing deeply
Similar to counting, this is a way to slow down. Your breathing becomes shallow and speeds up when you are upset and angry. Reverse that by taking slow, deep breaths from your nose and exhaling out of your mouth for several moments. You can incorporate “square breathing,” which is breathing in for the count of 4, holding it for 4, and then slowly releasing it for 4.
3. Take a walk or exercise
Exercising can help calm your nerves and reduce anger. Walking, riding a bike, or jogging are great solo activities. Get the body moving and pay attention to the actions that you are taking.
4. Relax your muscles
Progressive muscle relaxation is when you tense up and slowly relax a particular muscle group. As you tense and release, take slow, deliberate breaths. Be mindful of the sensations that you feel.
5. Repeat a mantra
Find a word or phrase that helps you calm down and refocus. Repeat that word or phrase over and over to yourself when you’re upset. My favorite is “this too shall pass.” Mindfully, breathe deeply as you say it silently or aloud.
6. Stretch or do yoga
Neck and shoulder rolls can be excellent movements for gaining control of your body and harnessing your emotions. Other stretches that loosen you up can also be a way to slowly and deliberately become mindful.
7. Escape mentally and use your imagination
Find a quiet room, close your eyes, and practice visualizing yourself in a relaxing natural environment. Focus on the details of your calming place: What color is the water? How tall are the mountains? What do the birds sound like? This exercise helps you relax and gain control over your anger.
8. Turn on some music
Let the music carry you away from your tense emotions. Put in earbuds or go for a ride in your car. Turn up your favorite music and enjoy the sounds. Feel your anger float away.
9. Stop speaking and become quiet
You may be tempted to let the words fly out when you’re outraged, but you’re more likely to do harm than good. Pretend your lips are glued tight and process your thoughts. Mindfully breathe and become calm before saying anything.
10. Be alone for a while
Give yourself a break and stay away from others. In this quiet time, you can process events and neutralize your emotions. This is an excellent time to meditate, write in a journal or draw in a sketchbook. Make it an enjoyable activity in your peace.
Final thoughts
You will notice that the more you can incorporate mindfulness practices into your life, the less angry you will get. Yes, there will be moments of annoyance and frustration, but the tumultuous emotions that used to get triggered will tend to be in control more.
Remember, there are things you can change and things you can not. Being angry over things you can not change will waste energy. Be calm and carry on.
