pamela.ullmannI feel relieved over needing to “make it all happen.” In the past few months, after coming out of a seasonal depression filled with anxiety over everything in my life causing me stress, I finally get it. I don’t have to do it all; I have to focus on what matters the most, one step at a time.
I’ve learned to be okay with letting go of control over certain things and letting nature take its course. And that has been so amazing for me, instead of constantly worrying if things will happen.
For example, I have been applying for new jobs. There has yet to be interest and follow-through. So, I say to myself, “I have a job, and I appreciate this job.” (I look at all the good things about it and feel ok!)
Then the other day, I got an interview call and scheduled it for the next day! It was an amazing interview, and I am confident that I will be made an offer. However, I am not obsessed over it, and I will be ok if I do not get this job. I trust the universe and will continue to put positive energy into the world and see what happens. That is truly liberating!
Mindfulness theories to remember
Being versus doing has become a popular mindfulness philosophy among those who practice. This perspective encourages individuals to shift their focus from constantly doing and achieving to simply being present in the moment. It’s a refreshing approach that allows us to slow down, appreciate life, and reframe our priorities.
Present-moment living is such a wonderful practice!
But what about when we are in a rut and are urged to change our lives? We want to “do” something to achieve lasting and positive change. Being present is important, but how do we start doing something without obsession?
Take steps, but LET GO of your expectations.
One way to break out of a rut and create positive change is to practice “mindful action.” This is mindfully engaging in activities, from small everyday tasks to large-scale projects. Mindful action focuses on the present moment, acknowledging that this is exactly where we should be. It can also mean being aware of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions as we do something.
When we practice mindful action, taking small steps that lead us toward our goals is all that is needed. We can trust the process, allowing ourselves to flow without being attached to any particular outcome. This allows us to take risks and try new things, with a greater likelihood of success.
Is stress self-induced?
Stress is not always self-induced. Sometimes, it can be triggered by external events or situations that are out of our control. However, how we respond to and manage stress can be within our control. The key is developing healthy coping strategies to help us navigate stressful situations more effectively. This could include taking deep breaths, relaxation, or mindful walks.
Everyone agrees that stress can be debilitating mentally, but studies show that stress also affects the body. Walking meditation, an ancient practice that combines physical movement with mindfulness and contemplation, can be a powerful tool for managing stress. When done correctly, walking meditation can reduce stress levels physically, mentally, and spiritually. It can help to increase concentration, focus the mind, and provide clarity of thought.
Our perception
Although outside situations may trigger our stress, our reactions to them are key, as stated above. This may sound cliche, but I try my best to take a step back and see “the bigger picture.” When I feel overwhelmed by a situation, I take a moment to understand why I’m feeling this way. This helps me to gain perspective and evaluate my reactions objectively. Often, a lesson can be gained from a challenge in life. While we are going through it, it sucks.
Challenges + Lack of understanding + Fear = STRESS
The pseudo equation above is how I see stress developing. If we can reduce or eliminate these factors, the stress levels won’t overwhelm us.
The way to reduce or eliminate these factors is by recognizing them and putting them into perspective.
- Challenges- What constitutes a challenge? Do you consider “a bad day” a challenge? What is a bad day? Is it one that you had to deal with a lot of traffic? Or maybe a co-worker got on your nerves. Maybe a bad day is just another day with the usual ups and downs. Some challenges may be really challenging: car accidents, illness, death in the family, natural disasters, etc. You get it now. At times, we must identify true challenges from the mundane.
- Lack of understanding– Very often, our stress may be caused by an entirely different reason than we think. Or, we may think we are stressed because of something we can’t control. Gaining insight by exploring our feelings may shed light on your stress. Talking to others or setting up a therapist can help. When we speak to others, we can gain perspective and more understanding.
- Fear– Fear is a normal stress reaction. We may fear the uncertainty of change or feel powerless when things don’t turn out as expected. When faced with fear, it’s important to take some time for yourself and focus on what you can control. Acknowledge your feelings but remember that fears are usually based on false beliefs.
Pausing and taking those breaks
Regardless of how busy or what we are working on, pausing and reflecting can greatly enhance our overall well-being. While we may feel inclined to prioritize our to-do list, it is crucial to recognize the value of taking breaks. We open ourselves up to greater learning, problem-solving, and improvement opportunities by stepping back and allowing ourselves to recharge. Therefore, let’s permit ourselves to take a breather occasionally for our health.
Taking a breather can do wonders for how we navigate life’s obstacles. It’s like hitting the pause button on our automatic reactions and giving ourselves space to breathe, think, and be inspired. By balancing our active pursuits with moments of rest, we equip ourselves with the tools to handle whatever comes our way. So, let’s embrace the power of healthy pauses and make room for new possibilities to unfold.
Just as in the mindfulness theory of being versus doing, a pause is a mini getaway from doing. However, this does not mean you have to sit and meditate.
Tips for taking pause breaks
- Use an automatic reminder– Set an alarm on your phone or computer to remind you to take daily breaks. Many apps allow you to take short mindfulness breaks with music or deep breathing exercises.
- Decide how often and when the breaks will be most effective: Consider your lifestyle and determine the best times and length of breaks. Some people find taking a few minutes every hour helpful, while others prefer taking longer breaks in the morning or evening.
- Take a walk: Swap sitting at your desk for going outside for 10–15 minutes during lunch break. Fresh air and exercise can help you focus on your work later. (Bonus: leave your phone behind, and disconnect from technology!)
- Do something calming: Take time to do activities that help you relax, such as reading a book, listening to music, stretching or yoga, or drawing. These activities help break up the monotony of your daily routine and promote mental clarity.
- Have a snack: Taking a few minutes out of the day to have a healthy snack or drink can help provide some nourishment and a pause in your day.
Pausing in our relationships
Sometimes, we need a little “me” time. Even in the best of relationships, some pause or break does wonders! I truly love my husband, but taking a break or some time for myself is helpful, not just for arguments but for self care time. Having some “space” or moments away from each other is important. Let your partner know that you need some time for yourself, and ensure you don’t take full advantage of the break — be respectful of their needs too! If there are problems in the relationship, address them together, but have an understanding that both of you may need time apart. The most important thing is to listen to one another!
